Dear reader, I need some help. A leading Indian political party has asked me to articulate an ad for recruiting politicians for upcoming elections in 2014. I have come up with the following and I need your help to validate or change it.
Senior Politician needed for 2014 Indian Elections
· Contest and win at least one Lower House seat (Lok Sabha)
· Organize election campaign and raise funds for elections
· Party’s go-to person for collecting kickback (or bribe) and distributing it
· Manage groups responsible for religion based riots
· Coordinate rallies to disrupt law and order
· Strategically plan meetings with partner parties to set price of MPs
· Collaborate with the underworld to ensure party priority are met
· Be an expert in keeping senior members of the party happy
· Pretend to care about society and poor
Required qualifications and experience
· Lie smoothly
· Experience in directly and indirectly asking for cut
· Able to cheat with conviction and without fear of god, government or law
· Never allow anyone to awaken conscience
· Experience in successful embezzlement of minimum 10 Lakh rupee
· Able to handle firearms for party’s interest
· Has proven to be the toughest ruffian and hoodlum of the city
· Capable to operating accounts in Switzerland and other foreign countries
· Understand Indian judicial system and has experience in getting acquittal
· Able to operate from the prison in an unforeseen situation
Salary: It is a commission based job and unlimited potential. India is a rich country with lots of tax and foreign aid. You will be part of the system to bag all this money.
Dear reader, feel free to add if missed any specific point and of course I am more than happy to delete any point that is not correct.
I cannot decide if this post is fiction or non-fiction.