Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A Man Shall Never Say To His Wife…

To stay happy in your married life, you shall never say to your wife:

1. “You don't look good
She may seek your opinion while viewing her-self in a full length mirror “Do I look good in this new outfit? Give me an honest answer PLEASE.” Ignore the plea for honesty. Disregard the mirror. She always looks good. She cannot look out of shape in any outfit of any color at any time. She is perfect.

2. “That woman is pretty
She may pretend to converse “Did you notice, that woman was looking so beautiful in blue dress?” Do not reply to her. You never heard it. This is probably the only conversation you can discount without being penalized. Never discuss or praise any other woman, her dress or skills.

3. “You have enough clothes
She never had, does not have and will never have enough clothes. Like seasons, styles and fashion change. Every year is different too. It may seem like she has enough but most of them are out of date including the ones she purchased last summer. Don’t debate. Don’t loss peace of mind for some money.

4. “What do you want for your birthday?
Keep the receipt of birthday gift. You know she will swap your gift for something else. But do not take the risk of asking her what she wants for her birthday. A good husband is supposed to know. Do not turn her birthday to ‘worst day of her life’ by asking this silly question.

5. “Couch is uncomfortable
She chooses the most stylish and contemporary furniture. Contemporary furniture is comfortable too. A husband does not know anything about home furnishing and decoration. Make the best use of her choice or spend your time in study. Explaining logic and rationale is futile.

6. “I cannot visit your house
Saying ‘no’ to visiting in-laws house will start a war. If she wants you to take her there, drop the tasks at hand. There is nothing more important than visiting your in-laws house.

7. “You are wrong
I asked my daughter what if I tell her mom that she is wrong. She replied “Mayan prediction of the World ending in 2012 may or may not be accurate. Your World will end if you tell your wife that she is wrong.” Even children know wife is always right.

Readers: Do you want to add some more?

Next post: What not to tell husbands?

(Author's Note:- I dedicate this post to all women who juggle priorities of office, home, children and family and yet manage to stay fit, decorate houses, keep up to date with fashion and enjoy precious moments of life.)


73 comments:

Jyothi said...

Interesting. :) I am waiting for the next post. :)

BK Chowla, said...

All this points are a undisturbed route to SUICIDE.I wont take any chance with my life.

Anonymous said...

excellent, keep blogging

chitra said...

Wife is always right!!! I have one Mr. Right in my house.
Mrs.A should write a post now.
Would like to see how she writes against each statement.
I was laughing while reading this because many of the things are true.

Ria said...

Good ones! Now i m waiting for ur next post to know what shud i avoid in future.

shuchita said...

ha ha seems you have found the key to a perfect marriage

Stranger said...

Like Chitra I too was laughing while reading this...But all that.. not always true A..

Your daughter's comment...was the icing on cake...I could not control my laughter

Bikramjit said...

Looks like someone has been TOLD :)

is it he hehehehe

Mangala said...

haha good one! let me add one more - never compare your wife to your mother. your mother is your mother, n your wife will always be your wife! Keep each of them at their own positions, never COMPARE them!! Do u agree??

Anonymous said...

Good ones. One more - 'Never say 'No' when she wants you to taker her to shopping'.

You may not say 'You are wrong'. But husband has to find a way to say it when she is serious wrong on certain occasions.

Satish

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

he he. Loved this. All men should get it framed and keep it with them.
You really seem to know it all. Even your daughter does.

And hey! Thanks for dedicating this post to me. ha ha....kidding.

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

And here I must say that Mrs A is lucky. She has a husband who knows...
Waiting for your next post.

Jidhu Jose said...

Its a truth.....I just told to my gf abt one gal, and she is a security gal who checked me.

Insignia said...

Never say the food is bad.

Even if its worse, appreciate her that she is the best cook in the world :)

subu said...

Great! you are able to predict everything with precision! he he..are you a meteorolgist?

rama said...

Really strange, but it not true in our case. I know that my husband is not even looking at me when I ask him: do I look nice, for without looking it self his answer would be yeah yeah, you are alright, now don't delay.
As far as some good looking woman passing by I myself comment she is so pretty, and he would agree, and i would not feel bad at all. In fact I also comment on some good looking guy and he too would agree and not feel bad.
He always says i have enough cloths,enough of everything, but i too still keep on buying, knowing very well that I would hardly get a chance to wear them often enough.
If I am wrong i listen, and the same goes for him too.
I think we women know very well whether we are looking good or not on certain days, but still we ask our men, knowing, very well, what will their answer be.
I value his selection skills for he is good in that , though even I am good, but it always good to take a second opinion.
Strangely, though we are quite different from each other, still in all important issues we always agree.
So I must say there is some chemistry between us that has made us click for last 30 years.
It was good reading through the list.

Geeta said...

You seem to have figured it all out. LOL !!! Wish you published this 10 years ago.

Now I can't wait for your next post.

sm said...

good once
very true and interesting

dr.antony said...

If I say anything more,my wife will get suspicious!

Harman said...

..okay....what about you guys??? :) anytime a wife says to fix something at home or its out of order..its put on next day...as its super bowl today or long weekend we will do...and that weekend never comes.....ultimately its handy man who has to help the couple!!
...its very funny... thou..what you have written seems like a seasoned ..GUY..
ha haaa....

NRIGirl said...

Good listing. I must ask Israel to read it too...

Bedazzled said...

ha ha ha!! right on all counts .. never contradict the wife ;she is always right :-)

Devil Incarnate... said...

Hahaha.. loved it all the way.. Women is always right.. :)

....Petty Witter said...

Ooh you old smoothie.

Harman said...

thanks..for sharing the link and blog..I read it..it was nice,BUT..Indian men specially those who had lot of domestic help back home I doubt will do any kind of home improvements themselves in US...My husband is one of that...he is helpful but moody,,only if he wants or situation demands,,I am not a person of that kind to compel or spoil peace of mind..getting work done from Home depot in a professional way is easy and fast...
..rest ..We have a handy man for small-odd jobs..
thanks ..your blog was good!

Shobha said...

Loved reading this post.Good things and praises are always appreciated from everyone..not only your spouse,rather than criticism of any kind.

Neeha said...

Haha nice post..Is it from your experience??
I hope not..
And coming to my case..I couldn't tell you until 21st..Just visiting all the possible holy places till then:P

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

Well I can tell you right now that I'm definitely not always right, although I pretend to be sometimes ;)

Thanks for commenting on my blog. I left you a comment back on the play dough post.

Blessings to you and yours this Christmas season!

Tanishka... said...

Lovely post.... Put the next one soon...
And hey I have one more thing to add to this one -
Why only aloo-matar for dinner tonight?? Try asking and you'll know what I mean... :D

Tanishka... said...

Lovely post... Put the next one soon...
And yes I have one more thing to add to this one..
Never ask "Why only aloo-matar" for dinner?"....
Try asking it and you'll know what I mean... :D

Punam said...

What's it with men and wife-bashing? Hmm? A, you also?? Comeon, this calls for a nice post about wives too. :)

Angels Never Lie said...

i hope all the husbands are reading dis one...waiting fr ur next blog now :)

Emily, Ruby Slipper Traveller said...

A lot of these made me laugh out loud, though I don't agree with all of them. Many are quite true though! I would add:

Never say "I have nothing to say to you."

Hands down the most frustrating thing ever. Women always want to talk!

suruchi said...

wow...so the secrets of a happy married life are being poured here for free...husbands n wives beware...
waise yeh sab na bolne se..."na bolna" he behtar hain kabhi kabhi:-)
hilarious takes Mr A:-)
now let's wait for our guidelines with bated breath, shall we?:-)

tanvii.com said...

While this was truly funny i cannot say I agree with it all ... but I guess it was for purely humorous purposes. Now let's see what's cooking in the next post! :)

JAGDISH BALI said...

Hahahahahahahaha... Greatly matured. Best way to be happy is to say 'Yes' to your wife and don't even bother about fulfilling your Yes. You will feel at ease.

preeti said...

exhaustive list of points :)phew :):)

A said...

@Jyothi,

Thanks. I will post the next one very soon.

@B K Chowla,

Your comment is so funny. You got is all figured out.

@Anonymous,

Thanks.

@Chitra,

Sure. I have one post for men just coming soon. My wife did not help me but she agreed with it.

@Ria,

This is strictly for fun. Please do not make any opinion from these posts.

@Suchita,

Yes, perfect marriage. Does it exist? Yes if we happily follow these rules, marriage is
perfect.

@Stranger,

I am glad you had some fun. Of course I don’t expect everyone to agree on every point.

@Bikramjit,

You are married long enough. You know how it works.

@Mangala,

Yes. That is another one. But keeping the sensitive nature of the subject, I kept family comparison out of post. I agree that is another one that irritates wives the most.

@Anonymous (Satish),

You have a noble goal. If you are successful, please share your method. ))

@Kiran,

Thanks. Well my wife is lucky and I am lucky too. Yes indeed this post is dedicated to females like yourself.

@Jidhu,

Oh my god, a security gal behind you. That is amazing.

@Insignia,
Yes. Food is always perfect and always right type. 

@Subu,

I am not a meteorologist. I am just a married man. Married long enough 

@Rama,

Yes. You are right. Some couples have really good relationship and years after years, they stay friends. That is the goal we shall all set. But not all of us are successful. Reading your posts, I can see you and your husband are indeed have a unique relationship. May be you can share your trick.

@Geeta,

Start whenever you find out. We shall always look forward and forgot the past. I guess your husband needed this list earlier but show it to him now. Show him my next post too.

@SM,

Thanks

@Dr. Antony,

Good comment. It is not worth.

@Harman,

About guys, see my next post. Should publish later today.

@NRIGirl,

Yes. It is for your husband. Did he read it?

@Bedazzled,

Thanks. All husband know that.

@Devil Incarnate, @PW,

Thanks,

@Shobha,

You are right. Thanks. Please continue to visit.

@Neeha,

Thanks. Of course it is partly my experience.

@CM,

Thanks. Preference to be always right helps you to make you right.

@Tanishka,

Thanks. Next one is coming tonight. Yes, never say anything wrong about food – type, quantity and quality.

@Punam,

Yes. Next post is for my wives. My wife read the draft and she liked it.

@Angels,

Thanks. Next one is ready to be published soon. Actually it was ready last week.

@Emily,

Thanks if it made you laugh. At least it helped you in your busy schedule these days. Yes, I did not expect an agreement. It is all fun. But some of them are not applicable to newer generation even in fun.

@Suruchi,

Yes. It is best not to speak sometimes. Well next post is for wives. Let me know what you think.

@Tanvi,

Sure. The post is for fun and even in fun some of the points are not applicable to newer generation.

@Jagdish,

I completely agree with you. Loved your comment.

@Preeti,

Humorous list Thanks.

Deepika Vasudeva said...

yes! i gree with all of it... specially "you're wrong"
hey every man...!! read this!
cheers

Meena said...

hahaha! this one really takes the cake. Just chanced by the blog now, and found this one hilarious. I would like to fight the case with a woman's perspective - the other side of the coin in you wish to call it that!! I've written the woman's side of the story here:

http://lafemmenirvana.blogspot.com/2010/03/and-then-he-made-woman.html

aarkay said...

Nice tips , to be followed to a T

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