Sunday, March 6, 2011

Variation with Words

(A very talented fellow blogger Jyothi posted a beautiful poem (To a wonderful dream). By varying just a few words, here is an attempt to create another meaning and posted with permission of Jyothi)

Love that is fulfilled without a single word
Love that brings in more joy than pain
Love that lasts till eternity

The love left behind in the sands of time!

Love that stood the test of time,
Love that so true that the world seems a lie
Love that goes away, yet manages to stay

The love I lost!

Souls that dwell as one in the cosmic world
Made for each other pair
Hearts that long for each other

The broken hearts that the world sees but does not feel!

Yet beats in my heart your heartbeat
Yet each breath reminds of you
Yet each moment longing to be in your arms
Yet each moment shedding a tear for you

A broken dream I wish was not real!

27 comments:

Tanvi said...

Beautiful Poem!

Tanvi
from © tanvii.com

rama said...

Reminds me of my college days when, love and poetry used to be main thing in our lives. We also got lot of inspirations from the film songs of those days, there were so full of depth and full of meaning.
A very good poem,right from the heart.

Bikramjit said...

Lovely yes indeed the broken heart that the world sees but cant feel a thing and regarding the LOVE LOST.. in my case well GOOOD :)

nicely done

Ria said...

Beautifully worded!! And so true....may a times this has happened to us.

sm said...

beautiful poem

Harman said...

very well....nice
but why sad? ...love can have a happy ending too!
not all love stories are broken or shredded or lost with time!
or may be I am fortunate one!

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

Touching.
Touches the heart.

Asma Khan said...

I must say about the love that has to be lost, that it doesn't good for us thats why it becomes the part of past.... :)
Any way nice sharing...
Stay Blessed

Shobha said...

Well written !

Geeta said...

Beautifully written.

A said...

@Tanvi,
Thanks. Credit goes to the original author.

@Rama,
Unfortunately (or fortunately) when I was in college, we only studied Engineering, Math etc. No poetry. Also there were only a few girls in my Engineering school. May be I am trying to become young now. 

@Bikramjit,
Any unhappy is usually alone especially when one cannot talk about the personal matters. Credit goes to the original author for your compliments.

@Ria,
Thanks. Yes. It is true for all of us.

@SM,
Thanks. Credit goes to Jyothi.

@Harman,
Let us say, when one experiences grief, the true value of happiness is realized. Life is like a coin with two sides – happiness and sadness and both go together.

@Kiran,
Of course love poems are always touching. Credit goes to original author.

@Asma,
Yes love lost is past, but hard to practice.
Thanks for the compliments.

@Shobha,
Thanks from the original author.

@Geeta,
Thanks.:)

BK Chowla, said...

I wish I understood poetry.

Jyothi said...

Thanks A. This is entirely yours now. Mine is on my blog. All credits to you. :)

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Poems are little spur of the moment snippets. Nobody ever plans them. What we see around us, what we feel,what we imagine etc. Yes, and it is influenced by a lot of factors. I listen to Hindi music all day long. So if you find similarities here, I won't be surprised, but it definitely was not intentional. :D

@Chawla sir - Poetry is actually never understood, its felt. So, thank you. :D

Mangala said...

nice...very touching!

Meena said...

such a beautiful poem! and the additions (which I presume are the ones in black) have only made it more poignant!

....Petty Witter said...

How beautiful - I'd love to know exactly who or what inspired this, apart, of course, Jyothi who obviously had a part to play.

Talha said...

Beautiful words, full of emotions

Asma said...

Very touching indeed

IRFANUDDIN said...

its really something which happens so often to most of us... very touching poem....

ZEAL said...

Beautifully expressed.

Anjuli said...

This is beautiful.

Alka Gurha said...

Mush..mush..lovely. But as BKC said, I wish I understood poetry.

Emily, Ruby Slipper Journeys said...

Everybody is getting very literary all of a sudden. I love that you are experimenting with poetry, A, and this is very touching indeed. Well done to you and Jyothi.

dr.antony said...

I cannot understand this extreme feelings of tender love.Because I simply do not believe in this kind of love.It is something good to talk about and write about.
As for the poetry part,you have written it well.

NRIGirl said...

@A very interesting to see you being poetic about love.

I must add I love the last line "A broken dream I wish was not real!" and I am sure it takes a lot of convincing to Ritu that this too is imaginary like your post on First Love.

Whirlwind said...

Beautiful poem indeed!

suruchi said...

ah love!
and ah...so wonderfully expressed:-)
my god, u even write poetry or modify them...any which way...that's super cool A:-)