Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Visa via Vishnu

(Disclaimer:- Please do not read this article if you cannot or do not want to apply reason to religion.)

“Do you need the USA visa? Just take eleven circumambulations of the shrine of the Visa temple,” Reddy advised the US visa seeker Srini.

“Visa Temple! What is Visa temple? I never heard about it before.”

“Are you new in Andhra Pradesh? It is Chikur Balaji (Vishnu) temple. We call him The Visa God. It is only 30 minutes from here, “Reddy surprised by Srini’s lack of knowledge about well known Visa temple.

“Do you think I will get H1B visa if I make the vow at the visa temple?”

“Of course, you WILL. The Visa God has already helped millions of IT people.”

Atheist Anil could not ignore the conversation anymore and interjected, “Chikur temple was built before Christopher Columbus’ discovery of America. The visa concept did not exist at that time. You can pray at any temple.”

Reddy replied,”Hundreds will vouch they got H1B after completing circumambulations of the inner shrine of the Visa Temple.”

Anil tried to add logic, “A US Company needs to offer him a job and send the paperwork for his H1 visa sponsorship.”

Reddy clearly annoyed, “Balaji is the God and HE can do anything and that includes positively influencing the US consulate.”

Anil, not ready to give up, calmly stated, “Almost all Americans follow Jesus Christ. Jesus might have better connections with Americans.”

Red with anger, Reddy almost raised his voice, “Jesus is not our God. Praying at the Visa temple works, it is matter of faith.”

Staying composed Anil asked with a smile, “Are there different rituals for faster Green Card (EB1, EB2) processing or citizenship processing?”

Reddy shouted at Anil, “You need to ask priest.”

Anil tried one more time, “Does it work for other countries like the UK, Canada, and Australia?”

Reddy replied tersely, “If Balaji wishes, Srini will immigrate to the USA or wherever he wants to.”

Anil had a perfect counter argument, “Balaji chose Indian parents for us. HE wants us to live in the holy land of India, HIS birth place.”

Not willing to discuss any further, Reddy ignored Anil and addressed Srini, “If you want the US visa, just take your application form and paper work to the priest.”

Slightly confused Srini asked, “There is no paper work. It is all electronics.”

Reddy almost yelled at Srini, “Then take your laptop.”

Srini packed his laptop and left for the temple.

Anil sighed and thought, “IT people are logical only in computer programming.”

Reddy picked his IPhone 4. He spoke softly, “Dude, I have sent another IT guy to you. “

The person on the other end replied, “Awesome. You will get your commission tonight.”

Reddy continued, “I have a new business plan.”

“What is that?”

Reddy uttered proudly, “Faster Green Card Processing. But I need higher commission for that.”

(I will let readers decide if Srini got the visa or not.)

Credits:-
  1. Fellow Blogger Insignia who told me about the Visa temple.
  2. Wikipedia article on the Visa Temple
  3. Times of India article


47 comments:

  1. A, I give it to you. I was waiting for the post on this topic. But I had no idea that it will turn out so fantabulous. You have framed it as conversation :-) Awesome!

    1. I liked the catchy title. Visa Via Vishnu..hahahaha

    2. The post is crisp, creative and grasps the reader immediately.

    3. Srini definitely got a visa...Vishnu or no vishnu, Visa is all that matters. So he got it by hook or by crook :)

    But the temple itself doesnt accept money and there are no donation boxes. So its a haven for middle men like Reddy who will flourish as long as people like Srini exist :)

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  2. ha ha ha.. i am not surprised at all,considering how big the "i want to got to the US at any cost" club is in India ..Srini probably didnt get the visa?

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  3. LOL after reading the title I was like seriously!!!!! but people will go to any lengths to get what they want and visa temple ha ha ha
    will read the articles now

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  4. I can't say if sirini got his visa or not but reddy sure has a visa of making enormous money by fooling people like sirini...

    Apt title... :)

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  5. I have heard about this temple. Temples are really becoming good commercial centers. advertisements,attracting crowds and what not. Some know how to play with religious sentiments of people and gullible fall for it.

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  6. God business idea ...

    I shud think of opening one for myself UK WAALE BABA.. u tell 100 people they will get visa and hope 1 or 2 will get .. thats all you need ..

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  7. Never heard of this before. Very interesting. He must have got the visa. :D

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  8. Ha ha ha ...luved the article.You made it so interesting!
    Surprisingly I am from Andhra Pradesh and have never heard about this visa temple.
    For Indian students USA is the ultimate goal. Not at all surprising that they will believe in anything and do anything to get their visa.

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  9. Lovely post...and yes till thw time we have fools like Srini in India, we'll have ppl like Vishnu duping them. Sad to see that educated ppl also fall for such gimmicks!

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  10. Indian give ample opportunity to the wise ones, to exploit them, how ever educated one is :) a nice one.

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  11. Interesting read @A! Quite enjoyed the conversation. You are very good at it!

    Please tell us more such stories...

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  12. the title is so good..

    i am from hyderabad and i know exactly the craze behind this..

    i am a firm believer of god.I know he/she exists..:) But yeah..faith on god with hard work paya doesnt it?

    srini would have got the VISA ..:P

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  13. I cannot believe it! There is actually a Visa Temple??? I never knew now there is a specific VISA GOD!! Seriously, people will go to any length to get a visa for US, Canada, UK or Australia... they'll waste time and money at temples and these so called babaji's, but won't utilize that time to gain more work experience or get further education that would support their H1B visa application?!! UnF*ingbelievable!!!

    But who's to tell these people who use religion as a weapon and threaten the same God to grant them their wishes that there isn't a "JOB Temple" or "Retirement Fund Temple" or "Kid's Education Temple" in these countries... the only thing that works is your HARD WORK!! This really annoys me when I see educated people following these idiocracies!!

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  14. It shows when people get desperate they would do anything.
    BTW, there is temple of Murugan, brother of Ganesha. It was shown in TV, that Lord Muruga of that particular temple is called "Petition Muruga". There are no charges for anything, if you have some legal battle, court, case and other such things all you need to do is go there write your petition in a paper and tie it there in the temple and surely within few days / months your case will end successfully.
    This temple is somewhere in TamilNadu, and there were people with such tough cases, showing no light at the end of the tunnel type, found there cases amicably settled.
    There is no queue, no money it seems good.

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  15. ha ha so funny. I REALLY REALLY LIKE YOUR STYLE OF WRITING.

    The way you knit an incidence and in the end leave your readers wondering is amazing.

    Visa God. Very funny.

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  16. Visa Via Vishnu..haha...says it all..everythig is business these days..if only indian politicians do their role properly...there will be visa temples to reach india..

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  17. ..I am late to comment..
    Mondays I have meetings..so I am out of office whole day...no net...

    now about the VISA thing..
    very..nice..Wish VISA was that easy...every other Moron would have been here...

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  18. It is easier to get the H1 N1 visa! We need to get Vishnu only to cancel it.

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  19. A , This is great creative post based on Visa temple information...thoroughly enjoyed reading conversation part.

    There are several Srini like young men eagerly waiting for opportunity and good luck..in the run Reddy like people take advantage and very few Srini pass the competitive race and win good luck.

    As few succeed... rest waiting Srini crowd continue to follow Reddy for Visa-Via-Vishnu.

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  20. @Insignia,

    Thank you for telling me about this temple and really appreciate your comments. Like all others, I love to hear good things about myself.

    @Bedazzled,

    I thought the craze is gone now because of recession in the USA and all jobs moving to India. But maybe I am wrong. There is still a large number of IT people coming to the USA from India. Thanks.

    @Suchita,

    It is true. I checked with some people from AP here too. Temple became popular just because of visa.

    @Tanishka,

    Of course people like Reddy make money out of this. Srini’s visa depends on employer sponsorship. Thanks for the comments.

    @Chitra,

    On a serious note, I think we all like temples and would like to preserve them. Temples are our heritage. Also we should donate to temples. Just marketing the temple for wrong reason does not make much sense and making it completely commercial defeats the purpose.

    @Bikramjit,

    Yes. You got it. When you are ready we can make a website for it. Hahaha ))

    @Jyothi,

    I did not know about it either until Insignia told me. Then I checked Internet. Also I checked from people of AP and they confirmed about it. My AP friends do not agree with this concept. Thanks.

    @Shobha,

    I did not know about it. I included links to TOI and Wiki. Also there are other sites that confirm. I think education level is equally good in India. It is not study. It seems like young people still like to come to the USA regardless of recession. Thanks for your comments.

    @Ria,

    Thank you. You summed up just right 

    @AS,

    Excellent summary like your beautiful pictures. 

    @NRIGirl,

    Thanks. Always appreciate your comments.

    @Madhu,

    Thanks. Madhu, faith on God and hard work is the key. Faith on rituals and unnecessary distractions may or may not be good. Srini will get whatever he aims for but not based on what Reddy says but based on his hard work and faith on GOD. God exists in everywhere and in all temples as Anil tried to explain him.

    @Bloogger Girl,

    Thank you. Strong sentiments there. I completely agree with you.

    @Rama,

    I agree but Srini has no reason to be desperate. He is educated and there are jobs for him anywhere in the world. He knows the value of hard work that is how he become computer professional. It is interesting information about a temple for court cases. Personally I don’t believe it works. My guess is court cases take a long time in India. When people are fed up, they go to this temple and after that they are willing to close the case and reach to an agreement.

    @Mangla,

    Thanks for superb one word appreciation.

    @Kiran,

    Thanks. Thanks. I try to make it interesting.

    @Ramesh,

    Yes. Believe it or not, we have to pray to God to Indian visa but for a different reason. Indian visa is outsourced and sometimes it can take long time. Also it is not clear how OCI/POI work. In addition if you have tourist visa, you got to give 2 months gap between visits, so we pray to GOD that we don’t have to
    visit India within 2 months of a trip.

    @Harman,

    You are not late. You are on time. Never late on blogs so don’t be pressurized to put comments. Thanks for the compliments though.

    @Dr Antony,

    That is really really funny. HiN1…

    @Usha,

    Thank you. Some Srinis win because of hard work and entirely due to their own luck and not because of Reddys.

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  21. Some smart guy has created a nice web site too with very detail account of the temple and the procedure that one must follow to get the VISA. But look carefully and report back what you see!!
    Clue : The clue to this is in the very first page of the web site:)

    http://chilkurbalajitemple.blogspot.com/

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  22. Though i dont apply logic to my god,... but i read the post:)..I have also heard about this temple:)

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  23. @Ravi,

    I am not sure exactly what you are looking for. On the header itself it says 'Visa God Of Hyderabad'. That is prefect marketing.

    There is a paragraph asking devotees to deposit donation in the bank directly but this line is pretty cool

    "Devotees who contribute to this fund will have the satisfaction that their most coveted place of worship will continue to work in this unique system,"

    Money goes directly to the bank. This paragraph is pretty encouraging for people to donate

    "Hyderabad, April 1: Think before donating at Sri Chilkur Balaji temple as the hundi-less temple, which became famous as Viswa Balaji all over AP, will now accept donation only through notified banks. Endowments department has okayed the temple authorities to accept donation of Rs 100 and above through two banks. The interest accruing out of the donations will be utilised for conducting daily pujas. Devotees from all over the world can deposit cash in different branches of Andhra Bank including the one located at Pedda Mangalaram (Moinabad).

    Even the branches of State Bank of Hyderabad all over the country, including the one at Moinabad, are authorised for this. The temple priest, Dr Sounder Rajan, said, "Devotees who contribute to this fund will have the satisfaction that their most coveted place of worship will continue to work in this unique system," he said. The Chilkur Balaji temple became famous for its unique hundi-less system. This was done to prevent endowments department taking over the administration of the temple. The cash can be deposited at Andhra Bank branches under head of account "SB A/c No 911/SB/1/8633 of Sri Balaji Venkateswara Swamy Temple or State Bank of Hyderabad SB A/c No. 62055583940."

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  24. @Renu,

    God needs to be worshiped without logic but question is here rituals and money associated with it.

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  25. Hey I liked the Title..VISA VIA VISHNU..haha..
    Yes its true..
    Even my sister told to mom about it.But we have only one day,so we were unable to visit the temple.If we have known the information before hand,might be we used to think about it.
    And finally I got the visa.
    As a matter of fact,I believe in this temple.I have seen so many people,including my bro visited it before his visa.But unfortunately we didn't remember this.My sis has good memory power in every field(excluding studies ofcourse) so it jus popped out of her head,but its too late

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  26. Can I say I am sooooper impressed? Or can I say I am sooooooooooooper impressed!
    Fantastic writing! Definitely coming abck for more :D

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  27. Enjoyed reading this.
    There is no dearth of suckers in our country as far as religion is concerned.

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  28. I think there's a lot of in-jokes in here! And having never had to do this application, I'm a bit lost. But just wanted to stop by and say Merry Christmas to you and your family!!

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  29. Nice one dude... lol'ed at the "then take your laptop" :) Preying on the gullible has been part of parcel of human existence!

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  30. excellent write up
    great marketing idea
    another one is about no thefts in village and keep doors open

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  31. Intentionally or Unintentionally - It was created on April 1st 2008! He is put the date in bold right on top.

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  32. @Neeha,

    Congratulations on getting admission and in turn visa. I think your hard work and faith in yourself and God (not ritual) worked here. Looking at your website, it is clear you are an intelligent person.

    @Celestiairays,

    Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.

    @Stranger,

    Thanks.

    @Haddock,

    Thanks. I agree with you about misuse and misunderstanding of religion in India.

    @Emily,

    Yes, it is pretty India centric. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too.

    @bquber,

    Thanks Dude. Always love your start ‘dude’. In one post, I will have you sing.

    @SM,

    Thanks.

    @Ravi,

    Hahaha. I did not notice that. I guess it could be taken as both ways.

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  33. Wondering why I am not able to bring myself to comment upon this post, I'd still say that the concept of God doing miracles is by far the best MYTH I've come across. Applies to so many things.. fasting on the day of results announcement (would that change the way they WROTE the exam?).. praying n visiting temples fervently for a good job (would that change the way they gave interviews?) ... fasting on Mondays to find a good husband (would that change her destiny?)...
    Well, we Indians are a superstitious lot. To a fault. A big big fault.
    The day we take stock of our destiny and become responsible for our actions, I'd say would be the day a new sun rises.

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  34. Funny but i am sure it must be agonizing for all US visa hopefuls. I guess he must have got it and the amount of time taken must be directly proportional to the amount of dakshina given to the priest.

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  35. omg...i am still deciding if this is more of a scam or more of a racket!
    i tell you...people would believe anything if the word religion is added to it:-)

    i have tons of stories of outrageous behaviour in the name of religion followed by even educated people..it is quite mind boggling at the end of the day that people can be so gullible

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  36. Everything from the Title to the last line was great. But the Catchy Title is what made me like this post that much more :)

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  37. Catchy title. Never heard of this temple, but I am not surprised.

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  38. H-1B as a remedy for labor shortages and as a means of hiring "the best and the brightest" from around the world

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    H-1B visa holders may only work for sponsoring employers after approval by the Departments of Labor and Homeland Security.

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    Thank's
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    H-1b visa

    ReplyDelete
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  40. I’m eager to find the valuable information and for me

    this is the right place to get the good stuff.

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    ReplyDelete

  41. Useful information. Thanks for sharing. One unique fact about this temple is that it doesn't accept any money from any devotee and no special access given to any VIP. Explore more about chilkur balaji temple.

    ReplyDelete