Sunday, October 10, 2010

Domestic Violence

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month.

Why it is important to be aware of it?

Domestic violence hurts a victim physically and emotionally. While black eye, marks and sometimes life threatening injuries are visible signs of physical violence, the psychological effects are far reaching.

•Domestic violence crushes the soul of victims because perpetrator is an individual or a set of individuals who are supposed to love, care, protect, support and share life.

•Humiliation and disgrace prevents victims to talk about it and in turn victims may lose self respect and dignity.

•Trust and mutual respect between partners and families are the foundations of the social fabric and value system. Is it possible for partners to develop and maintain mutual respect living under constant threat of physical and/or emotional abuse?

To my surprise, in the USA, twenty five percent women experience domestic violence at some stage of their lives. The numbers are alarmingly high. The numbers are similar for South Asian (Indian) community in the USA. The problem cuts across socioeconomic, race, education, profession and financial status lines. I would not be surprised if all of us know someone who is (was) a victim at some stage.

Are you aware of the extent of domestic violence in your community, state and/or country?

Are we building the right society by adequately addressing it?

29 comments:

AS said...

hello

nice post. I had read somewhere that the rate of domestic violence and divorce is highest in Germany. this is a very important thing to understand that independence is not sufficient, empowerment is also equally necessary. i believe, a no marriage is much better than a bad marriage.

Also, once i had had a long chat with a victim of domestic violence and i have expressed my thoughts in form of poem. you might like it:

http://hummingwords.blogspot.com/2009/09/my-first-poem.html

SG said...

Sure. I know a domestic violence in my community (Indian). But the victim is not the wife. It is the husband. Surprised? It happened. Some one we know.

chitra said...

I think domestic violence takes place when the person feels insecure, angry , disappointed, threatened and suffers from a low self-esteem. A person who respects himself/ herself would not hurt others. I have come across men and women also falling into this category.

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

Well few years back, I read in Readers Digest survey that there are only 2 % men all over the world, who have never ever hit a woman even once in their life. That is an alarming number.
Now a question- Does your wife read/see only what you show her on internet? Or does she surf on her own too? (This is an answer to your comment on my blog. Just kidding. )

Emily, Ruby Slipper Traveller said...

I'm amazed that the numbers are so high in the US (and just think how many cases must go unreported). I know there was a real problem with it in Mexico, which I blamed on the macho society. I'm not sure how we should address it, honestly, but something clearly has to be done.

How's it going with your new kindle? I love that they are quite easy to use..

Bikramjit said...

I hate the man who wud hit a woman Simple , and I dont take it light any situation though I must tell you that domestic voilence is not jsut against women, its quiet strange that even a LOT of men suffer the same at the hands of women..

Yeah you got to be in my job to know it

Good post there and a lot of thinking needs doing, cause when we made the laws which were a teeny weeny FOR women it was not good , cause a lot of them had a advantage...so it need to be well thought....

Stranger said...

This is an interesting subject. Both men and women will cry they are the victims. However I feel women suffers most mainly because of the physical factor. Most of the average women cannot defend themselves in front of an aggressive man.

Men or women who abuse others physically or mentally are sick people. Their family members need to be protected from them. Only stricter punishments can bring this abuse rates down.

sm said...

domestic violence
is rampant is India.
and many Indians feel its ok and now a days male and female any one can become victim of domestic violence

NRIGirl said...

@A! This is a true statement and very sad that the perpetrator is an individual or a set of individuals who are supposed to love, care, protect, support and share life...

I guess we need to encourage people to ask for help in matters beyond their ability to handle. Also, if and when we happen to see soemthing, we need to speak up for the victim... shall we?

~NRIGirl

A said...

@AS,

Thanks. I don’t have numbers for Germany but keep in mind; a lot of cases are not reported. I liked your poem so much that I have updated the post with a link to it.

@SG,

Men can also be victims but statistics show there are far more women. I am not surprised to hear about men though.

@Chitra,

Anger, depression, frustration and low self esteem may be the reasons. I kind of agree with you but not some may say that these are excuses.

@Kiran,

That is interesting information of 2%. That makes it almost all men think hard.

@Emily,

You are right. Numbers do appear high especially many cases are not reported.

@Bik,

You are in a profession and you see it more often than others. I agree a lot of men also suffer. But there is a good chance that a lot of women don’t report.

@Stranger,

Strong opinions you voice. May be cultural changes are also required.

@SM,

Good point. A lot of people think it is ok. They accept it. Awareness program is for those people.

@NRIGirl.

That sentence is the key point in my opinion. You are right on spot…encourage people to seek help and everyone needs to take stand.

BK Chowla, said...

It must be so as we read about such incidents so often.Personally, I dont know any one who has complained or reported such incident.

kavita said...

We kicked out one of our tenant a high official working for national insurance company because he hit his wife right in front of us.We wanted report to the police but his wife and son requested us not to .I think it is rampant and most of the time the victim remains silent which further encourages the abuser.I used to think that it happens to women who are economically dependent on their husband but i was wrong .I was wrong again when i thought it happens to women only.There are some cases of mutual abuse too.

In my opinion the only effective solution is to stand against it the very first time it happens .
Would love to read your blogger friend's poem .Thanks for this post and the link to the poem.

Babli said...

Very nice post. I feel that domestic violence takes place when a person is very very angry, totally insane and frustrated. It becomes a serious issue which needs to be handled tactfully.

R. Ramesh said...

i think it has reduced over the years...but of course it is still prevalent..ya..i do knoww several ssuch cases..good post buddy

Anonymous said...

Very good post and thanks for reminding us that
this goes in the roots of the society.
Crime and good deeds starts at home.

DM

A said...

@BKC, we hear it all the time.

@Kavita, you are right. Even high officials can commit such acts. Financial status does play a big part in it.

@Babli:- Totally agree with you.

@Ramesh, you bring a good point. I agree it is reduced over the years yet we hear more cases because more people are reporting.

Anonymous (DM), Thanks. Yes good deeds starts at home but crime does not have to.

A New Beginning said...

Thanks for adressing such an important issue that prevails in our society A...it's a sorry state..some people just don't understand what hurting another person is all about , they take it as their birth right...such people should be punished severely!!!
A very thought provoking post!

Samvedna said...

I have seen domestic voilence, both for husband and wife too....dont know how to remove it..I think only education and awareness can bring a change..education for women and awareness for men.

Who Posted This? said...

Domestic violence is horrible.
It just makes me sick to hear stories about it.

Regards,
O.J. Simpson and Scott Peterson

Ria said...

Kudos to u for writing this post. Hope to spread more n more awareness about the same.

raji said...

yes ..domestic violence is still prevalant no matter how much the advances and modernisations have taken place.BUT i was surprised by SG's comments.i was wondering...???

Bedazzled said...

nice post .. if there is one subject that is brushed under the carpet,that has to be domestic violence.

A said...

@Sana,

Thanks. You are right. Some people just don't get it.

@Samvedna,

I have seen the tendency even with educated people. See comments from Kavita and also from 'Who posted this'

@Ria,

You are welcome.

@Who Posted it,

Thanks for providing concrete example.

@Raji,

Not only SG, others have stated similar opinion. But statistics show mostly (almost all) victims are women and some are men too. Also keep in mind, men may report more.

@Bedazzled,

Thanks. It cannot be brushed under carpet anymore. A lot of agencies are working to make people aware.

Usha said...

I didn't know October is month for Domestic violence awareness..Thanks for making this post and let us all know.

Domestic violence is very complex issue..Violent ones any how come out but silent ones are most difficult to tackle.Current stressful life has triggered violence.Few have already said that it is not only woman's area but men too are suffering.

Only solution is keeping high moral virtues and respecting/understanding partners..the moment weakness surrounds mindset of partner.. things start to get worst.

Victims should be fortunate enough to have somebody very close and confident to vent and seek help.There are helping hands but they are not effective to solve non-violent and silent issues.

Punam said...

A:
That is quite a relevant post, and I agree with everything that you listed out. Domestic violence is a serious issue and it's true that a lot of women let it go unreported, thus feeding the perpetrator's ego and leading to a vicious cycle of repeating violent acts. I'd always say to every person who is a victim, "Stand up and fend for yourself." It is very important to speak out and confide, because that deters the violent person a wee bit. And the laws need to change as well.

~Punam

A said...

@Usha,

High moral values is the key. I completely agree. Thanks for making this important point.

@Punam,

You are so right about unreported cases creating the vicious circle. Your statement 'Stand up and fend for yourself' should be a slogan for anti violence programs. Thanks! I know some people who work in these agencies read this post and it will reach to them.

Tanvi said...

Domestic Violence is everywhere in every country. I think it has little to do with modernization and more to do with human nature and impatience. And I think there is an increase in domestic Violence towards men too ... !

A said...

@Tanvi,

I agree with you. It is increase towards men too. Modernization is probably decreasing it in general but there is no data to prove either way. A lot of cases are not reported. More cases are reported now though.

Neeha said...

Hey In USA its 8 out of 10 who are being abused..
So you yourself calculate the statistics..
Added your link..If your wife is a feminist,I appreciate her..And glad you are giving your support..